Cookies.We all love cookies, don't we? Yummy cookies. Yum yum yum yum. Yummy yummy cookies!
Or do we?
For Jonathan Petridish, the humble cookie was far from being a satisfying snack, instead leaving him traumatised for the rest of his life.
Jonathan Petridish worked full-time as a human resources manager at a large insurance firm. It was a job he didn't particularly enjoy, except for the half hour break he got mid-morning which he looked forward to with fevered excitement.
On one such break, Jonathan Petridish decided to enjoy a cup of tea and a couple of cookies, while he took some time out to fill in a crossword puzzle in the newspaper.
Nothing wrong with that, was there?
So you would think. But the tea plus cookie plus crossword equation was to prove to be Jonathan's undoing.
While puzzling over the clue for twelve across in his crossword, Jonathan Petridish decided to dunk his cookie in his tea.
Cookies are normally quite resilient to dunking, and hold their form far better than your common or garden Rich Tea, or Digestive biscuits. But so preoccupied with the crossword was Jonathan Petridish, that he left the cookie dunked in his tea for slightly too long.
Then it happened.
The cookie, now soggy with tea, broke apart, crumbling into poor Jonathan Petridish's tea.
Jonathan heard the gentle splash as the biscuit collapsed into his drink, but it was too late. Not only had Jonathan Petridish lost half a cookie, but by now his delicious cup of tea was ruined as well, awash with tiny, squelchy chunks of cookie.
Jonathan Petridish cursed himself loudly. Then, to add further insult to biscuit-based injury, Jonathan realised that his break was now over, so he could not even make himself a fresh cup of tea.
Thirsty, hungry and dejected, Jonathan Petridish left the staff-room and returned to work, having had his break well and truly ruined by the humble cookie. He never did find out what the answer to twelve across was, that fiendish crossword clue that had played such an important role in this whole, terrible tragedy.
The cryptic clue read, "12 across: This biscuit will save you on the internet."
Do you know what the answer was, dear reader? Are you ready for the big, chilling reveal?
The answer was...cookie.
A desperate warning to Jonathan Petridish, sent by unknown forces from the other side to warn Jonathan about his imminent cookie-related calamity, or a mere coincidence?
You decide.
Sleep well, readers. If you can!
- The Book-Keepr.
3 comments:
What a great piece! I really like that.
--But I would shot that squished up loser cookie, right there in the tea.
Twice.
As a warning to ALL weak and worthless cookies that might fail me in the future.
I also find it helps to bite the heads off of animal crackers, and leave all the carcasses in a large pile where the other cookies can see them.
It sorta keeps 'em in line.
You are a sick man.
The number of cookie suicides, particularly by drowning, have risen alarmingly over the past few years. This is only my personal opinion but I think it's society's doing.
Cookies these days are much softer than they were back in my grandfather's day. They've fall to pieces over just about everything. That's right, these days even cookies are emo.
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